Posts Tagged ‘proverbs 31’

Today my wife of almost 9 years, Sam, turns 30 29. I am not exaggerating when I say that she is my best friend. I would rather spend a day with just her than anyone else on this planet. I never get tired of being around her. She is amazing, beautiful, and such a blessing to our home. One more number for you to emphasize how fantastic my wife is: we have 5 kids ages 5 and under. Yes, you read that right. We have 5 kids ages 5 and under.

An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life.

(Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV)

I am sinner. I struggle with being harsh and not paying attention to my tone of voice. I can get in a rut emotionally and just move along through days oblivious to how Sam is doing or to how our general unity is. In my flesh, I battle having unreasonable expectations, being a little OCD about the messiness of our home, and I can be overbearing on our kids. These patterns do not fit well with having 5 kids as young as they are! Yet my wife is my biggest encourager and supporter in the midst of all my sin and struggles. I cannot remember the last time that I questioned whether my wife was on my side and for me. I just can’t. I trust her immensely. She affirms me so much that I question much of the time whether or not I really see myself with sober judgment. In all this Sam is also, by far, my most frequent reprover. She is not impressed by me. She does not let me get away with patterns of sin without gently calling me out. I am so thankful for this. She encourages me without enabling me. I think this is extremely rare! She tells me she is thankful that I can take her reproof. But her foundation of love and encouragement is a major reason why I can take it and even why my exposed sin can hit me deep enough (though I can still be hardheaded at times!).

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

(Proverbs 31:25-28 ESV)

Read this post she wrote for one example of the above. When people find out how many kids we have and the ages of our kids, their brains tend to implode. After they pick their jaws off the floor, I tell them that it’s not as crazy as you would think and that it is indeed as crazy as you think it is. Sam is in the middle of it all. Her perseverance through the last 5 years of 2 twin pregnancies, ups and downs in her intimacy with Jesus, fatigue, moving, pouring into people in our church, and dealing with me, makes my own brain implode. Sure, she has her own battles with sin. But she has a 100 more excuses than I do and yet she presses on trusting Jesus for growth and to be a blessing to our home and others. When I start to feel fatigue I can fold so easily. My wife does not fold when facing fatigue and continuously convicts me in how she responds to weariness and sickness. She does this even though the 5 people she most gives to barely understand how much she blesses them. If her wages are praises and genuine thanks, then she is seriously being underpaid. Does she complain? Does she fight for her own rights? Almost never.

This does not even factor in how approachable my wife is to other moms and friends. God tends to bless whatever she touches from using her skills in graphic arts to the wisdom and vulnerability she has with others to how other women tend to just melt and spill their guts with her. She has such a soft heart.

By the way, if anyone were to call my wife “idle” or a busybody or say she was wasting time, I might have to punch them. I’ll leave it at that.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates.

(Proverbs 31:31 ESV)

Honestly, this could be a ten part post. I do not do near a good enough job praising my wife. People question why we discipline our kids the way we do, they question why we’re going to home school our kids, why she doesn’t do more mommy play dates, why we even have 5 kids, and they question our ability to have success as parents, even expressing genuine sorrow for our son (no joke). My wife has had multiple people, in public situations, express straight to her face that her life looks like their own personal hell. You know how many times my wife has heard, “You have your hands full!”? People tell us that when they’re really struggling with their kids or having a hard day, they just think of us or my wife and what we might be going through and they feel better. I understand all of this. I truly do. Our home is intense. It’s a lot of work. It looks different than other families. We are so grateful though for our kids and for the family God has given us. Our kids are a blessing. However, we definitely have really hard days and you have no idea how many times my wife and I just feel flat out exposed in our sin. But know this: there are 2 huge reasons why we are not merely settling for survival. First, God’s grace is more than enough and He has been so good to us. Second, I have an absolutely priceless, selfless, sweet, and profoundly loving wife that I am so undeserving of. One day, she will certainly receive the ultimate fruit of her hands and the praise she deserves when she meets our Heavenly Father and He says to her face to face: “You are my beloved daughter; with whom I am well pleased.”

Happy birthday, Sam. I love you. You are my best friend and you are truly an excellent wife and mom and far more precious than jewels. A thousand words are not enough.

Check out her blog here.

Read Full Post »